


DudeTube

by curvasud



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: M/M, Mild Ableist Language, Obsession, Sex Toys, Stalking, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 18:33:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2239086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curvasud/pseuds/curvasud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris is a vlogger who reviews sex toys. That's his hobby though. When he's not trying out sex toys and sharing his opinion on them, he serves coffee at a cafe, often frequented by a certain Zachary Quinto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	DudeTube

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://pintokinkmeme.livejournal.com/925.html?thread=104605#t104605) at the [Pinto Kink Meme](http://pintokinkmeme.livejournal.com/). Thanks so much to everyone who left comments over there and especially to [jouissant](http://archiveofourown.org/users/jouissant) for her help. :)

_Hey guys, welcome back to my channel! Today I have a first impression review of The Assifier, which I have to admit I bought just because of its name. God knows I don't need to add another butt plug to my collection, but look at it! I just couldn't resist._

_Anyway, if you've never seen one of my first impression videos before, it's basically where I try out new products and tell you my initial thoughts. If applicable, I'll wear it throughout the day and check in a few times to let you know how it's going, how I'm feeling about it, and so on. Uh, so yeah, that's basically it—the broad strokes. I'll leave a link in the infobar below to my first impressions playlist so you can check out my other videos, and I'll also leave a link to my in-depth reviews playlist if you want to see lengthier product reviews, where, you know, uh, I go deeper into the toys... or, as it's often the case, the toys go deep into me! HAHA LAME JOKE, I KNOW._

_ANYWAY, back to the Assifier. Now, this is kind of a newbie toy, by which I mean a kind of starter toy that is suitable for people who are new to anal play—which I'm not, as you know, but a lot of you guys are. I just want to let you know that I'm hearing your comments about trying different toys for people with different skill levels—not skill levels, I don't mean to make it sound like I'm some grandmaster of sex toys or whatever, but you know what I mean? Different... comfort levels, I guess. Uh, so yeah, I hear you, I agree with you, and I'll try to vary things up so that not only am I doing different types of videos and reviewing different types of toys, but I’m also keeping my different audience groups in mind. I really do appreciate you all though; thanks so much for supporting me over the past couple of years and creating a community with me here on DudeTube. Your comments seriously make me so happy, so, yeah—you're awesome!_

_What was I—oh, sorry, I got sidetracked again. The Assifier, right. Let me just take it out of the package here... it's a standard butt plug, a bit on the smaller side, which like I said, makes it great for first-timers. Feels flexible and smooth, the base is two inches, and it's about an inch at the widest. Yeah, looks great. So I'm going to apply some lube to this and work it in... now I'm already prepped and loose, but if you're not, or if this is your first time, you should definitely apply lube to your body as well—in fact, you should prep and play with yourself first, using your fingers, for as long as you need to really. If you're playing with a partner they can help you out, too, but if you're doing this alone... here, I'll just link to my "Prepping 101" demonstration video below._

_Okay, so the Assifier is in. As you can see, I'm working it in and out a bit, not taking it out all the way, but these little thrusting motions feel really good even with a smaller plug. Again, you can do this for as long as you want to, as long as it takes to feel comfortable, but I'm going to go ahead and push it in all the way now—there. Okay, feels good. It's almost 10:30 in the morning; I'm going to get dressed and go about my day with the plug in. I'll check back in a few hours, so see you soon!_

_*_

_Hey guys! It's now just after 2:00 pm. I went out for lunch with a friend and came back and, you know, everything's fine. I felt it throughout lunch, of course, and the walk there and back. It's hard to forget that you have a toy in you no matter how experienced you are or how small the toy is, but it wasn't uncomfortable or anything. It was kind of exciting, actually, because this particular friend doesn't know about what I do—I mean, you guys know I don't go out of my way to keep my DudeTube a secret or anything. But it just never came up between us, so she doesn't know—at least I think she doesn't know; if she does, she hasn't brought it up... Anyway, so the fact that she didn't know made it kind of exciting for me, and I probably squirmed in my chair a bit. Shit, I wonder if it was obvious... maybe she does know. Zo—oh, shit, maybe? I don't know! Okay, well, I'm gonna go now, but I'll check in one more time at the end of the night for my final thoughts. Bye!_

_*_

_Hey guys! 8:45 as you can see on the clock, so I've had the Assifier—I'm never going to get over that name, I love it—I've had it in for about ten hours. That's no problem for me, I'm not even that sore, but you might want to take it easier if you're new to this. Don't push yourself too hard, okay? Even though I love it, anal play isn't for everyone. On the flipside, you might not want to give up right away if you're having a hard time with it. Like with almost anything else, it can take a bit of practice before you really feel comfortable and enjoy it._

_So, I'm going to take it out now. Gripping it by the base, as you can see, turning it a little, again, a few small rocking motions... I know I look a little red down there, but don't worry, it feels fine. Ah—here it comes. Wow, that was an attractive noise, wasn't it? Sorry, guys, but you know how these things go!_

_Okay, final thoughts? I definitely recommend this product for beginners; it's small, smooth, and very easy to use. If you're more experienced with plugs, this one might not hit the spot for you, but it might be nice to have on hand as a travel plug or something. Good price, overall no complaints!_

_That's it for this video, you guys. Thanks so much for watching if you've stuck with me to the end. Give this video a thumbs up if you liked it and let me know in the comments below what you'd like to see me review next!_

 

 

"He's staring at you again."

The barista flushed and ducked his head. To his smirking coworker, he whispered, "Shh, he'll hear you."

Zach could most certainly hear them, and he hid a smile behind his copy of today's paper. Okay, maybe he _was_ being a little obvious about his interest in the barista, but he couldn't help himself. Of all the coffee shops in all the towns in all the world, he'd walked into one served by none other than KissOfWhitman himself—also known as Chris, according to his nametag.

Zach thought it must have been something like fate, bumping into the person he had been, well, obsessing over (also masturbating to) for the past few months.

 

 

It had all started when Zach was bored one night and decided to hunt for new spank-bank material. At first, he hesitated to click on a new search result, _DudeTube_ —probably the douchiest of all the douchey names he'd ever seen—but then he recalled his folder of bookmarks linking to sites like _JizzzFast_ and _FapFapFap_ and _xGerbil_ , and it wasn't like _those_ were named by Shakespeare either.

So he hemmed and he hawed for a few more seconds before logging on anonymously and setting up his site preferences:

CATEGORIES  
[ ] all [x] amateur [x] anal [ ] anime  
[x] barebacking [x] bdsm [ ] bears [x] big cock  
[x] bisexual [x] blow jobs [x] butts [ ] college  
[ ] daddies [ ] fetish [ ] fisting [ ] group sex  
[ ] hardcore [x] interracial [x] jerk off [x] muscle guys  
[x] sex toys [x] softcore [x] solo [x] twinks

_There_ , Zach thought once he hit save. He wasn't exactly sure what he felt like watching that night, but those options would give him a good starting point. Then he sorted the videos by _top views — all time_ and began scrolling through the thumbnails.

Zach had to admit that he was somewhat impressed. After clicking on a few user profiles from uploaders of the most popular videos, he could tell that DudeTube had somehow attracted a niche community of amateur porn stars, mostly solo vloggers with a few couples here and there among the top views. Zach was tired of seeing the same clips from the same porn studios and the same sponsored channels posted and reposted across the usual sites he haunted. DudeTube had its share of those videos too, of course, but they didn't seem to earn as many hits and comments as the videos put out by real people, having real sexy times—which were the kind that Zach especially liked to watch.

He went back to the first page of thumbnails and started looking for something he could settle down with for a wank. He skipped over the entire first row of videos because they were all uploaded by avy89, who was obviously DudeTube's most popular user and entirely _too_ twinkish, even for Zach's tastes. Zach figured the kid had to be in his twenties by the "89" in his username, but with his curly brown hair and big puppy-dog eyes and smooth, tight body, he definitely _looked_ underage—and nope, no thank you.

But there—middle of the fourth row. Zach's cursor landed on a close up of the bubbliest bubble butt he'd ever seen and two seconds later the thumbnail flipped to show an attractive, smiling face attached to the bluest blue eyes he'd ever seen. The thumbnail flipped again—back to the ass—and Zach _had_ to drag his eyes (and mouse) down the screen to avoid getting hypnotized by an endless loop of what was clearly DudeTube's masterpiece theater. No, that wouldn't have been enough—there had to be more to see than two one-inch frames of a six-minute video.

_DEMONSTRATION: 8-IN ALL-AMERICAN WHOPPER (AKA STEVE ROGERS' DONG AMIRITE)_  
KissOfWhitman  
3,013,564 views - 2 years ago 

"Kiss of Whitman?" Zach mused out loud. How fucking pretentious. But—then it was almost like his cursor was inching up the screen all by itself, hovering and all ready to click click click— _that ass_.

So he clicked on the video with a slightly trembling hand and forty seconds into it he had to free his straining cock from his boxers. Fuck, pretentious or not, this guy was _hot_. Blue eyes—like _deep end of the pool_ blue—and dirty blond hair, muscular but toned, just clean-cut enough to pass as a twink but with a nice smattering of hair on his chest and trailing down to a thick, pink cock. Beautiful. Sure, he talked _way too much_ , but his voice was deep and pleasing—as were his soft moans. His bubble butt was even lovelier in 720p and _fuck fuck fuck_ the way his slick hole parted to kiss the tip of the dildo before sucking it in—the push and pull of his rim, tugging on the dildo's realistic folds of skin—the little movements of his ass, bouncing up and down to the rhythm of Zach beating his own cock—

Zach blew his load at minute 5:37 and slapped his cleaner hand (they were both filthy, to be frank, but at least one wasn't covered in come) on the spacebar to pause the video while he caught his breath. Man—he hadn't had one that good in a while.

When his heart rate had slowed down again, Zach cleaned himself off and returned his attention to the screen. He unpaused the video to watch the remainder of it, palming gently at his sensitive prick and balls, and discovered (to his great disappointment) that KissOfWhitman did not finish himself off in the video. In fact, Zach would find, after watching the rest of Whitman's library over the course of the next few days, that he never, ever came on camera. He hardly even stimulated himself, at least not outside the purview of a video's featured toy.

"Honestly, I just like reviewing and demonstrating the toys," Whitman explained in one video, his cheeks flushed pink as he stuffed a string of anal beads into his gorgeous goddamn ass. "I don't want to be a _porn star_."

Again, fucking pretentious, right? But damn if Zach hadn't gobbled that shit up; if anything, it made him even more interested. It got him watching—and getting off on—all of Whitman's videos so many times, over and over, that he began to memorize some of Whitman's words, noting his speech patterns and the hitches in his breath. He could pinpoint to the second certain moments in certain videos—near-orgasms, for example, or little slips of details about his personal life. Zach knew he was getting in too deep—after a few weeks, he couldn't remember the last time he had checked one of his other porn sites or even watched anyone else—but Whitman was absolutely magnetic, an unstoppable force that pulled Zach in and in and _in_.

Eventually, Zach created a DudeTube account just so he could subscribe to Whitman and make sure he would receive an alert whenever a new video was posted. He also created Instagram and Twitter accounts to keep up with Whitman on his social media, and found him to be funny, charming, and witty with an oddly self-deprecating sense of humor that seemed incongruent with his classic good looks and on-screen confidence. Zach ached to tweet his congratulations to @KissOfWhitman when he marveled at a new follower milestone, saying how he couldn't believe that so many people were interested in his vapid self-indulgence. And Zach almost commented with reassurances when Whitman posted a selfie, wearing a loose-fitting white tee and a vulnerable expression, hashtag nofilter, hashtag needtogrowabeard.

But not once in the past few months did Zach ever actually interact with Whitman, no tweets or comments or anything to tell Whitman that he'd become a staple in Zach's life, almost always the last person Zach would see at night before falling asleep. Even in the midst of his obsession, Zach had known that it was a one-sided friendship, a phantom love affair. It was unrequited and unreal, and interacting with Whitman, making him aware of Zach's existence, even if there had been no guarantee that Whitman would have responded, would have made Whitman somehow _more_ real—and still untouchable, and utterly devastating to Zach.

Which was why Zach nearly shit himself when he glanced up from his phone, barely registering that he'd reached the front of the line at the coffee shop he'd stumbled into on a whim one day, to meet those same blue eyes that had been looking back at him for months. They were as warm and inviting in person as they had been on screen.

"Welcome to Bean Me Up, Scotty," Whitman—for it was undoubtedly him—said. "What can I get for you?"

Zach's gaze flitted down to his lips as Whitman spoke—pink and plush and a little wet, like he'd just been licking them—and then continued further down, noticing his sharp jawline, slightly scruffier than usual, thick neck, open collar, broad shoulders, a glimpse of a tanned chest, a nametag—

"Sir?"

Zach's eyes snapped back up, his mouth gaping, and he blurted, "My name is Zach."

Whitman— _Chris_ —looked confused. "Okay." He was adorable.

"It's just," Zach gestured helplessly, "you called me Scotty?"

"Oh," Chris said, smiling brightly again. "That's just the name of this place. 'Bean Me Up, Scotty,' you know... like Star Trek? But... coffee? My dad—the owner—is a fan. Of both."

"I see."

Chris's smile dulled a little at Zach's flat tone—to be fair, Zach often thought in hindsight, he _had_ been shocked—and he cleared his throat. "Uh, can I get you something from the menu?"

_You, you, you, are you on the menu?_ Zach wanted to say. But after a few seconds of pretending to read the boards behind Chris while he pulled himself together, Zach managed: "Just a large black coffee, thanks."

The rest of their transaction moved a lot quicker, like the world had resumed rotating after standing still for the event of their first meeting. Zach exchanged a few more meaningless words, paid for his drink, collected it when Chris's pretty coworker called out his name, and then sat down at a table by the window to, well, breathe.

_Shit_.

 

 

In the present, Zach gave himself a little shake— _get it together, Quinto_ —but it might have been too late to rethink his life choices now, considering he'd been (kind of) stalking Chris ever since he found him. It wasn't anything _too_ creepy, Zach tried to reason with himself, mostly coming into Bean Me Up, Scotty two or three times a week before work, ordering a coffee and sometimes a bagel or a croissant, and slinking to his table—yes, he had A Table now—to read the morning paper and, oh, work up the courage to ask Chris out. So far Zach didn't feel any more informed about current events and he was no closer to going on a date with Chris than he was all those months ago when he'd first clicked on _DudeTube_.

It was odd—Zach definitely wouldn't consider himself shy or hesitant, and he'd never had trouble making new friends or picking up dates. With Chris... they'd gotten into the habit of making small talk over the past few weeks, Chris recognizing him as someone becoming a regular, and they'd exchange hellos, how are yous, weather's nices, the usual?s, pleases, and thank yous. But every time Zach would start to say something else, something different, he'd immediately think something like, _I've seen you naked, I know what you look like in pleasure, I want to give you pleasure, oh god I want to see you come, I want to_ make _you come so badly_ —and he'd feel an overwhelming sense of guilt that would freeze him up and leave him cold, distant. By the time Zach recovered control of his mind and body, it would be too late—the moment would have passed and Chris would have moved on.

But today, Zach decided, today would be the day. The thing was, Zach hadn't really been able to watch any of Chris's new (or old) videos since seeing him in real life. He'd tried; the day after they met Zach woke up to an email alerting him that KissOfWhitman had uploaded a new video. Zach's heart skipped and he probably bruised his finger with how hard he'd jabbed at the link. He lasted two seconds into the video, just enough to see a flash of Chris's face, to hear an aborted " _Hey_ —", before he had to turn off the screen and toss his phone halfway across the bed. The rest of his attempts had fared no better.

The thing was, no camera could capture the precise blueness of Chris's eyes now that Zach had seen them reflected in his own.

The thing was, Zach couldn't smell the coffee shop, rich and sugary and warm, clinging to Chris's clothes through the screen.

The thing was, Zach would catch a glimpse of Chris-as-Whitman and immediately think something like, _This is you, but this isn't the real you._

_(A simulacrum,_ Zach would think. _)_

_This is a copy of you, a copy you share with the world, with me. A copy I could have with me always, a copy I could keep for myself, a copy, a copy, a copy._

_(An image without the substance or qualities of the original.)_

_But I've seen the real you. And I want you._

The thing was, between his inability to talk to Chris and his inability to watch Whitman, Zach missed him, all of him, quite terribly.

So today, Zach decided, today would be the day. He'd been tracking Chris over the top of his newspaper all morning, glancing away whenever he felt the gaze returned. At times he couldn't help smiling to himself; he felt giddy with excitement. He'd finish his coffee and breakfast, and soon, as usual, Chris would come over and ask if he wanted a refill or another pastry. And today Zach would tell him exactly what he goddamn wanted.

"Hey Zach." Right on time.

"Hey," Zach said, lowering his paper. Chris was wearing a soft-looking blue sweater under his apron today. It brought out his eyes. His hair was messy, sticking up like he'd just been running his fingers through it. And his lips were pink and slick again. Zach suddenly felt a lump in his throat.

"Get you another one?" Chris gestured to the empty plate with the towel in his hand. "Or more coffee?"

"I—" _I think you're lovely, I like your voice, keep talking to me, I miss you, fuck you're hot, fuck I messed up, didn't I, wasn't I going to tell you something?, fuck, I had a plan, fuck, what was I—_

"Hey Zach? Zach."

It took a little effort, but Zach came back. And Chris was still there.

"Do you want to go out sometime?"

The thing was, in the end, Zach didn't say those words. Chris did.

Zach swallowed. "What?"

"It's just," Chris said, his eyes lowering and his cheeks glowing as he scrubbed an imaginary stain on Zach's table, "I noticed you've been watching me."

"I—" Their corner of the cafe had become stiflingly warm. Zach felt like he couldn't breathe and was just about to confess everything, from finding his DudeTube channel and sex vlogs to following him on Instagram and Twitter to _fucking stalking him_ at his workplace like a sad and slightly creepy puppy—when Chris looked up, eyes bright and playful, and continued:

"And I wanted to let you know I've been watching you back."

 

 

_Hey guys, thanks for tuning in! Today I have a highly requested demonstration video of the new K &S Thrusting Vibe. It's a very new product, so I understand why you guys were so eager for me to try it—I've had more requests for this than just about anything else! Speaking of, to the people who keep requesting the Baby Jesus butt plug in the last couple of videos—no. Just no. I'm not doing that, okay, so stop spamming the comments._

_Anyway, before I get started with the demonstration, just a couple of quick notes about the product. It's a thrusting anal vibe—and I'll just read off the back of the box here—with three speeds of thrusting and seven different functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation. Sounds exciting! Uh, it does have a suction cup base, which is nice. Needs four AA batteries, though, fuck. Hang on, let me see if I have any spare..._

_Okay, I'm back. I had to pull a few batteries from my other toys, but that's fine. Let's just start. As per usual, I'm already prepped and loosened up and I've inserted the batteries into the vibe already. I'm just going to use it like this, but remember that you can always slip a condom over toys like these to be extra clean and cautious._

_Mm, okay, there we go... I like the ridges on this, feels nice. Okay, now that it's in, I'm just going to turn it on the first vibe setting. Actually, it's kind of hard to tell the different functions apart since there are only two up and down buttons here, but I guess "two up-down buttons" doesn't sound as marketable as "seven different functions of vibration, pulsation, and"—what was it—"escalation," right. I'm gonna speed it up a bit more—oohhh, yeah—okay, and then let's go ahead and start the thrusting._

_You know what, I just realized that you can't—ohh—um, you can't exactly see that part—you can hear the buzzing, though, can't you? It's quite loud. I probably wouldn't recommend this product if you have roommates that you're not comfortable with for that reason alone, but otherwise it's n-not bad. Manage your expectations, though, if you get it, because I don't think the thrusting is very deep. I have it on the highest speed now and it's fast, but it doesn't have a huge range of m-movement. Which is fine for some folks, but I just wanted to let you know._

_Mm, okay, this isn't enough to get me off on its own, so I'm going to have to jack myself while I keep thrusting with the other hand. Which means I'm going to end the video here, sorry! I know you guys think I'm just being a tease, but as I've said before, this isn't a porn channel, not really. I just have to keep some things to myself, okay? Bye guys!_

 

 

If Zach thought he knew Chris before, he was wrong. And he was delighted to be wrong, because it meant that he was learning more about Chris with every date.

_Every date_. As in, _multiple_. They met up at a bar for that first one and since then they’d been to dinner and a movie (movie first, in case they needed something to talk about at dinner, but that wasn't an issue at all—they found plenty of things to banter over), a secret orchestral jazz concert on the top level of a parking garage, and a dog beach—Chris had been dying to meet Noah and Skunk since he heard about them. And over the course of all these dates, Zach felt that he was really getting to know Chris-the-person, not Chris-as-Whitman as he presented himself in his videos or on social media, and not Chris-the-copy that Zach had been constructing in his head during all those months of their one-sided relationship.

Sure, Chris was as much a pretentious hipster as Zach had predicted (the secret parking garage jazz orchestra was Chris's idea, after all), and he _was_ funny and charming and witty. But, for example, Zach had only gotten part of Chris's sense of humor right. Sometimes his jokes were dry, sarcastic, and self-deprecating; sometimes they were crass, vulgar, and even straight up douchey. Other times, best of all, they were sweet, sincere, and so painfully eager for Zach's approval that Zach would find himself laughing just a little louder, smiling just a little wider, to see in turn the soft, pleased look on Chris's face. He was well educated and loved to read but hated school. He liked working at his family's coffee shop because it allowed him more time and freedom to do what he loved than most other jobs would. ("Like what?" Zach had asked, as if he hadn't already known part of the answer. "You know..." Chris had said with an easy-going smile, "reading and writing. A little traveling. Collecting things. Toys, actually." _Cheeky bastard_.)

Bottom line was, Zach was discovering all these different sides of Chris and he really, truly enjoyed every bit of it.

And, though Zach could hardly believe it after the start they had, Chris seemed to like him just as much as he liked Chris—or at least as much as Zach was willing to show without giving away his previous worship of Whitman. And that turned out to be quite a lot. Zach hadn't had any trouble talking to Chris since they broke the ice on their first date—which ironically went something like:

_Chris: I wasn't imagining it, was I? Have you been coming into the cafe to see me?_

_Zach: Yes._

_Chris: I knew it. You're not some kind of crazy stalker, are you?_

_Zach: You got me._

_Chris: Well... lucky me, I guess._

In fact, talking to Chris became so easy and natural that Zach was surprised by how much of himself he shared during their dates, everything from how he dealt with the loss of his father at a young age, to his experience of coming out to his mom and older brother, to his move out to LA and how much he hated the city on some days and on others loved it madly for everything it offered. From his current passions to his hopes and dreams for the future, how much he liked working at his friend's production company and how he dreamed of starting his own one day. He told Chris everything that he was, is, and wanted to be, yet he hadn't found the right opportunity to tell Chris the truth about _them_. And where the guilt from holding on to his secret used to be freezing, there was now a constant simmer, low and heavy and steaming, until the day Zach knew it would heat up and boil him over. The only question was _when_.

The answer manifested itself the minute Zach stepped into Chris's apartment. See, they'd kissed after their dinner date and again after the jazz concert, the first time quick and chaste, the second sweet and lingering. They'd held hands, briefly and sporadically, on the dog beach, when they'd let their fingers touch and tangle every time they passed the leashes to each other. Somehow, they'd manage to take it slow, despite the facts that Zach still spent half his time with Chris thinking about how much he wanted to make him come and that Chris occasionally looked at Zach like he wanted to climb him—all the while biting or licking his sinfully sensuous lips.

Until tonight. Zach came to pick Chris up for another date—they had plans to go to a food truck rally in the park—and met Chris at his front door.

"Hi," Zach said, appreciating the way Chris's shirt stretched across his chest with one of his arms braced against the door.

"Hi." Chris sounded a little anxious, but it was a sweet moment, the two of them inescapably grinning at each other the way people with mutual crushes did. Still, Zach was going to ask Chris if he needed more time to get ready, was going to tell him not to rush, when Chris made a frustrated noise and abruptly pulled Zach against him with a surprising show of strength. He pressed their lips together urgently, and by the time they parted to catch their breath, it was Zach who crowded Chris against the doorframe, their hips hugging dangerously close. Chris was hiccuping little gasps of breath, grasping desperately at the back of Zach's shirt.

"Let's order in," he whispered against Zach's lips, still trying to steal kisses from him. Zach groaned, swept his tongue across Chris's teeth, and vowed to supply Chris with all the kisses he would ever want.

"Food is the last thing on my mind right now," Zach confessed, chasing after Chris's mouth when he drew back to offer a smirk.

"Good," Chris said. He tugged on Zach's wrist. "Now come on in before my neighbors get a free show."

That was how Zach found himself standing in Chris's apartment, stunned as he immediately recognized the furniture, lighting, and decor from months of obsessively watching and rewatching Whitman's videos. It was one thing _knowing_ that Chris was Whitman, but being here in his private space—where Chris recorded his videos and surely kept his toys, where he slept and ate and read and wrote and _lived_ , where his two worlds certainly collided—Zach suddenly felt a cosmic collision of his own, his mind and heart and cock all forcing him in different directions as a result of the mental blast.

And Chris was still wrapped around him, pecking the corner of his lips, his chin, his jaw, before sucking soft, wet kisses up and down his neck.

"Chris—"

Chris didn't seem to notice Zach's hesitance as he pulled back, mistaking the sound of his own name out of Zach's mouth for an passionate plea and giggling excitedly. "Come on," he said, dragging Zach over to the couch (the _couch_ , Jesus Christ, where Chris had filmed a number of his videos, including one of Zach's favorites with the cock cage and ring set) and plopping him down before Chris climbed on top. He resumed kissing Zach hungrily, fisting handfuls of Zach's thick hair and grinding down on his lap. Zach could feel the shape of his arousal through their jeans, growing thicker and harder by the second. It was getting so hot and Zach wondered if that was all because of Chris and the friction between their bodies—or if it was something more sinister, that well of guilt bubbling and bubbling inside him until he was ready to blow. And not in the way Chris would have expected.

Chris was, however, expecting a response from Zach, so it didn't surprise him when Chris suddenly stopped as he realized that Zach wasn't kissing or touching him back. He watched as Chris lifted his head, a look of confusion dawning over his lust-glazed eyes and tugging the corners of his kiss-swollen lips downward. He leaned back, still sitting astride Zach's thighs.

"Zach?" Chris sounded uncertain and Zach hated himself a little for putting that vulnerability in his voice. For a lot of things, actually. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Chris. No... I—" Zach knew it was time—he'd owed Chris the truth for a while now—but he didn't know how to begin.

"What is it?" he sounded scared now. Chris's hand was gentle on his cheek, his thumb stroking Zach's skin lightly. "Did I hurt you?" Zach shook his head, feeling an incredible weight of sadness and shame. He didn’t deserve Chris's affection or care, but he couldn’t help taking comfort in them anyway. "Hey, it's okay. What's the matter?"

It took a few moments, but finally Zach was able to say, "Can you..."

"Anything, baby, tell me."

"Can you... get off me? Please. I can't think when you're on top of me."

Chris stiffened and he immediately slid off. "Fuck," he said, and Zach watched helplessly as he maneuvered to the other side of the coffee table, deliberately putting distance between himself and Zach. "Fuck," he said again, covering his mouth with one big hand. "I can't believe I just jumped you like that, I'm so sorry—"

"Chris, no, it's not like that—"

"I really fucked up. Zach, I'm so—"

"Stop," Zach pleaded. "Honestly, it's not that. It's not... it's not you, okay? It's me."

That got Chris's attention, all right. He stopped, stared at Zach like he couldn't believe what he was hearing, and then sank down on one of his armchairs with his head in his hands. "Oh my god," he moaned. "Oh my god, I can't believe you actually just said that."

"Chris?"

"Fuck." Chris laughed, but it was a bitter, ugly sound, so unlike his usual peals of joy. Zach winced. "Oh my god, I can't believe you're breaking up with me—using the most cliched line _ever_ , by the way—and we haven't even really started yet. Was I _that bad_?"

"What?" Zach stood up. "What are you talking about? I'm not—we're _not_ breaking up." At least, he hoped not. Not before he could explain. 

"Right. We'd have to be together in order to break up and we're not even _that_ , so—"

"Chris, shut up."

Chris did, but he also glared at Zach. Zach felt tired all of a sudden and he sat down again, sighing. "I'm sorry. That was rude. You're not listening to me, though, and I need you to... I need you to just listen, okay? Please. Don't say anything. Just... just listen to what I have to say and then you can say whatever you want or throw me out or... or do whatever you want with me, okay?"

Chris stared at Zach for a few moments, his anger appearing to fade away as he considered Zach's words. By the time he nodded his agreement, he even looked curious.

Zach exhaled. "Okay, so..."

So Zach told Chris everything, from discovering his DudeTube channel to becoming one of his fans, to running into him at the coffee shop—completely by chance at first, considerably by choice every time after—to trying (and failing) for weeks to ask Chris out, and, finally, to trying (and failing) for weeks to tell Chris the truth. He skirted around the details of the depth of his obsession with Whitman, but Zach thought he was emphatic enough about what Whitman and the videos meant to him anyway. And while he was on a roll with baring his soul, relieved to be able to share everything with Chris, he also confessed to the feelings he had developed for him, how much he enjoyed their dates and all the talking and listening and kissing. Especially the kissing.

Through it all, he forced himself to watch Chris's face and see his reaction to each of Zach's revelation. He looked surprised, then embarrassed, then amused and bemused in turn, and then, finally, thoughtful. Zach thought Chris was fairly open-book until the very end, when he couldn't read Chris at all, his face giving nothing away.

After a few minutes of silence, Zach looking at Chris and Chris looking like he was somewhere far away, Zach begged, his voice rough, "Please say something."

At last, Chris turned his eyes on Zach. Then he blinked and said, slowly, "I like kissing you too. And the other stuff."

Zach waited, expecting the other shoe to drop. When nothing else came, he hesitated, then said, "That's it? That's all you have to say?"

Chris shrugged, his mouth twitching a little. "I mean, we already established a long time ago that you were a stalker." Zach blushed. "Granted, I was half-joking at the time, but I knew you were interested in me and that you... tried. In your own way. It was weird, but kind of sweet. It probably wouldn't work on just anybody, but lucky for you, it did on me. And lucky for me too," Chris added sincerely, "because I think you're pretty awesome.

"As for the Whitman stuff..." Chris shrugged again. He sighed. "I wish you'd told me sooner... if only because I would've wanted to share that with you too. Eventually."

"You would? I mean, you do...?" Zach was trying not to look _too_ hopeful.

"Sure. It's kind of an open secret. I mean, I don't walk around advertising my most interesting hobby, but it's not like I go through great lengths—or any lengths—to hide my face in the videos either. You know that."

"Yeah, but..." Zach struggled to find the right words, hoping he wouldn't say anything that might set Chris off. He was being strangely calm— _too_ calm—about everything. It unsettled Zach. "I wonder about that, actually," he finally said. "How does it work? You're kind of famous. For, uh... you know."

Chris smiled and got up from his armchair. Zach was wondering if it was it, if Chris had changed his minded and decided to throw him out after all—but Chris simply rejoined him on the couch, pulling Zach's hand into his lap and entwining their fingers. "You're so cute," he murmured, resting his head against Zach's shoulder. Zach stiffened for a moment, but he couldn't help responding positively to the warmth and comfort radiating from Chris's body. His shoulders dropped, arms falling loose, but he made sure to hold onto Chris's hand. "We live in LA, Zach. You can't throw a stone without hitting someone 'kind of famous' here, especially if it's for porn. Not that I do porn," Chris clarified. "But you know what I mean. It's not a big deal. Haven't you seen some people approach me about it at the cafe?"

"What? No way."

Chris laughed. " _Way_ , dude. Unlike _some people_ , a lot of my subscribers don't have any problem coming up to me on the street or in the cafe to talk about the channel or certain toys. Or to ask for a selfie with me."

"Wow." Zach wondered if he'd been having tunnel vision when it came to Chris, automatically blocking out interlopers at the cafe. He wouldn't be surprised if it were true.

"But that said, what I do... you know, DudeTube is such a small, such a niche community that it really doesn't happen all that often. I can understand why you've never seen it, even with all the time you spend stalking me at the cafe."

"Oh god," Zach groaned, but he was relaxed enough to flop over on the couch. Still, he hid his face in a pillow. "You're never going to let that go, are you?" The air around him remained hot, like he really was boiling over, but at least he knew now that it wasn't all because of an organic implosion. Part of the heat was due to his proximity to Chris, whose touch would surely always ignite him, and part of it—well. He felt embarrassed but also, bewilderingly, _happy_ because Chris wasn't kicking him out and Chris still seemed to like him and Chris was _joking with him_ about what happened. How on earth did he manage to get so lucky? The thought alone made him slightly heady.

"Nope," Chris said cheerfully, following the tug of their entwined hand down to drape himself across Zach's back. He wrapped his other arm around Zach and gave him a squeeze. "Can I tell you something now that you've told me just about everything?" His voice was soft now, gentle, and Zach nodded into the pillow, turning his face slightly so that he could peer at Chris out the corner of his eye. Chris smiled, swooping down to kiss his cheek. "I'm very glad that you found me."

"You are?" Zach felt his heart quicken.

"Yeah. At first... listening to you speak, I mean, I was thinking... I was worried that you were going to end the story by telling me how much you loved my videos, how much you preferred it when I was just _Whitman_ to you. How... how the real me doesn't measure up, you know?"

"Chris—"

"Shh, my turn." Zach bit his lip, chastised. Chris just smiled and kissed him again. "But the more you talked about me, and about us, the more you looked at me... Anyway, I think it's safe to say that I believe that's not true for you. That you... somehow, amazingly, somehow you know me, both parts of me. The part that I film and edit and put online and share the with the world, and the other, bigger part that's just... me. And somehow you like both of them." Chris spoke slowly, as if he was carefully considering each of his word. He seemed amazed, and Zach's trembling heart ached at the wonder in his voice.

"I do," Zach insisted, cuddling Chris's hand even closer. "A lot." Then he remembered that he wasn't supposed to interrupt and had the decency to look abashed.

But Chris just said, fondly, "I know."

 

 

_Hey guys, welcome back to my channel! It's time for another edition of "Ask Whitman," where I've gathered your burning questions for me from the video comments, Twitter, and Instagram, and I'll try to answer as many as possible. I don't want to make this video too long, so I can't answer everything, but don't worry! People seem to really like it when I do these Q &A videos, so there will be more to come. Not to waste any more time, let's get to it!_

_"Hey KOW, nice videos! What's your current favorite toy?"—matty69_

_Hi Matty! My current favorites are these heavyweight nipple clamps by Bits and Tits. The alligator clamps are adjustable and the weight here in the front is just right—it swings and tugs and, ugghhhhh, just gets me so hot. Give this video a thumbs up if you guys want to see me demonstrate it!_

_"what's the weirdest gift you've ever received? luv u xx"—XxIron_PeenxX_

_Well, Iron Peen, let me begin by saying I really am grateful to all of you who send gifts to my P.O. Box. It's not really something I advertise any more since the volume of packages I receive are getting out of control and the post office is probably kind of pissed at me. But anyway, I really appreciate all the stuff you send to me, whether they're cards or letters or personal gifts or toys that you want me to try for the channel._

_To answer your question, the weirdest thing I've ever gotten from a viewer was probably the Squildo, which... I don't know if you can guess by the name, but it's a squid dildo. A very large squid dildo with full-on tentacles. And suckers and hooks, and can you tell I'm shivering a bit right now? Doing what I do, I've seen a lot of strange paraphernalia, but that was really one of the strangest. To the viewer who sent me the Squildo, if you're watching this, thank you, but, uh, no._

_"How Did You Get Started On Dudetube?"—WhatWouldBradDo_

_Uh, I started this channel because there weren't really any others like it at the time, and I'd already had quite a collection of toys. I thought it'd be fun to do reviews and share my thoughts about some of them—I never really expected this channel to get as big as it is! Again, I have you all to thank for that._

_"Do your family and friends know about your DudeTube? How do they react?"—nony1241_

_Some of my friends know, and those that do are cool with it, supportive. And, uh, my parents know that I'm somewhat internet-famous, I've given them a head's up about that, but I've also warned them not to go digging around for their own sake. Which is probably enough said. I think they've heeded my advice so far. I hope. Otherwise, I'd have many more awkward family dinners to look forward to, I'm sure._

_"Do you watch other DudeTubers? Who are your faves?"—dtf_2003_

_Yeah, of course! You guys know I'm friends with UrbanKnight since we've done a few collabs on each other's channel before. I think HaroldandKumar_IRL are a really hot couple, too, I enjoy watching their videos a lot. Let's see who else... oh! SimonSays333, duh! His porn parodies are the best._

_"You're bi, right?? Do you have a boyfriend? Or a GIRLFRIEND? Will you ever date me? I'LL SEND PHOTO (NUDE)??"—AnnaLeeBeth_

_Uh, wow, lots of questions for such a short tweet, I don't know where to begin! Yes, I am bi, and yes, I do have a boyfriend. I'm sure you're very lovely, but he probably wouldn't appreciate it if we went out, or, uh, if you sent me nudes, so please don't do that?_

_Aaaand okay, well, let's just end on that one! If I didn't get around to your question—sorry! Like I said, there will be more of "Ask Whitman" in the future, so watch this space! And be sure to subscribe for more videos to come. Love you guys—bye!_

 

 

It was many months, many kisses and orgasms and more, later when Zach finally remembered to ask the question he'd been curious about since that fateful day he'd stumbled upon DudeTube. "What's the deal with your username anyway?"

"W-what?" Chris panted as he sunk down on Zach's cock. "Do you really want to talk about that _right now_?"

"I was just wondering," Zach said soothingly and rubbed Chris's belly as it flexed in front of him. Chris all but purred in response and bounced playfully in Zach's lap. "I'm sure your viewers would like to know too. Hasn't anyone ever asked?"

"Why 'Kiss of Whitman'?" Chris looked thoughtful—as much as he was able to while naked and impaled on Zach's dick, anyway.

"Yeah," Zach said, moving his hands to grip Chris's thighs as he thrusted up. "It's pretentious as fuck."

"Fuck you," Chris protested, a burst of laughter interrupting his moan. "It's Oscar Wilde."

"Dude, that doesn't make it _less_ pretentious." But Zach was smiling, rolling his hips teasingly.

"Say that word _one more time_."

"Okay, okay." Zach leaned up to distract Chris with a kiss. Once that worked, he flipped them over so that he was on top with Chris pliant and humming beneath him, peacefully caged within Zach's arms—Zach had learned that this was a position they both favored for maximum intimacy. They continued kissing and moving against each other for a few unhurried moments, Chris arching his back to rub his cock against Zach's stomach in a slow, tantalizing drag. When he settled down again, Chris sighed, a deep, contented sound.

"Can't believe I have to explain my early-twenties username-picking decisions while I have your cock in me, but here goes—don't you _dare_ stop moving, though."

"Yes, sir," Zach said, giving his cock a good stir in Chris's tight clutch for emphasis. He also closed his hand around Chris's erection, thumb tracing the silicone ring at its base, and hid a smile against the curve of his ear when Chris gave an answering moan.

"Oh my god, okay. So Oscar Wilde, when he was twenty-seven, twenty-eight, w-went to America and visited Whitman, who was p-probably in his sixties? Fuck, yeah, like that. Yeah, sixties, at the time, and you know, they were here, they were queer, yada yada yada. A brilliant old soul, a hot young thing. Pretty sure they banged. Afterward, they had nothing but the grossest praise for each other, oooh. Oh my god, _Zach_. Uh, especially Wilde, the peacock that he was, couldn't stop gushing, and at s-some point was all, 'I have the kiss of Walt Whitman still on my lips.' And, fuck, I don't know, it just stuck with me as a young, twenty-something queer who used to cry into _Leaves of Grass_ , okay? It kind of—it made me feel— _fuck_ , baby, that's enough, fuck, I gotta come. Let me—"

"Yes, okay," Zach agreed immediately, heartened by how hard Chris tried to narrate the story while getting fucked—just because Zach had asked him to. Chris was so _good_ to him. Desperate to make it good for Chris too, he trained his eyes on Chris's face and then tugged the ring off with his free hand, the other one jerking the shaft as much as he was able to. "Now, baby."

Chris came, his head thrown back, eyes slitted, mouth wet-red and slightly open. He looked _obscene_ —he always did—and Zach loved every second of it, pumping his hips harder and harder as he gazed upon the sight until he, too, let go.

"Fuck," he swore at last, collapsing on top of Chris. Chris let him stay there for a few minutes, the two of them just breathing together, before he started squirming. "Zach, baby, get up."

"Mm," Zach moaned, nuzzling into Chris's chest. "Don't wanna."

" _Zach_. It's gonna get itchy."

Zach groaned again but relented, lifting off slowly and pulling out. Instead of going to dispose of the condom and cleaning them up, though, he propped himself up on an elbow and brought his other hand to Chris's face, touching it lightly. His eyes were bluer than the first time Zach had seen them on screen, as shocking as the first time Zach had seen them in person. He was fucked out and beautiful, and Zach couldn't believe how far they'd come. "Thank you," he said.

Chris smiled, looking sweet and curious, and turned his head to kiss Zach's palm. "For having sex with you?" he teased.

But Zach wasn't fazed. Chris's humor was as familiar as his own now. So he simply said, "For answering my question. And for giving me a chance."

Chris made a soft _hm_ noise and allowed Zach to keep petting him, moving from stroking his cheekbone to sweeping down his bare arm and side. Just when Zach thought Chris might have drifted off, he heard a yawn and then a sleepy-toned challenge. "Tomorrow. Tomorrow... we'll talk about _your_ username, Mr. Iron Peen. As if I wouldn't find out..."

Zach just laughed. "Deal."

 

 

_Uh, hi. Hey guys. Okay. So... I know what you might be thinking. If you haven't hit the back button already. "What the fuck?" "Did I click on the wrong channel?" "Where's Whitman?" "Who's this guy?" Patience, my horny friends. Everything in time._

_You did not click on the wrong channel. See the username and URL? See where I'm sitting? This is Kiss of Whitman. Except Whitman's not here right now, and I'm actually his boyfriend. You can call me... Kisser of Whitman. How about that?_

_He doesn't know I'm taping this intro, and I really hope he won't be mad at me for it—for touching his cameras and filming setup more than anything. I mean, by the time you watch this, if you do, he won't be, because that would mean I would have successfully convinced him to edit this into the main video, but, you know. He'll have to see it first, so. Hi sweetheart. I love you. Please don't be mad. Also, you look hot today._

_The video you're about to watch—I mean, the video you're watching now, but the latter segment, right after I stop talking—it's... well, I suppose you could say it's from our private collection. It was my idea to film us, a purely self-indulgent wish at the time, but it was Whitman's idea to share it with you all, as a kind of thank you for helping him reach 500,000 DudeTube subscribers. It's a huge milestone, and I'm so proud of him and so grateful to you all. Your support means a lot to him, so, again, thank you for your part in making him... happy._

_Truthfully, when he asked me what I thought about putting our sex tape online, I'd hesitated. Partly because I'm not as brave as he is, partly because I'm a lot more selfish. For the longest time, all I wanted was to see him come apart. Somewhere along the way, that obsession became blurred with my desire to be the one to_ take _him apart, to blow his mind and body to pieces and to be the grounding force that would pull him back together. By now, I've done this many, many times, but the sight of it, the experience of it, the miracle of it never fails to take my breath away._

_I'd thought, now that I have his pleasure all to myself, why should I share it with the world?_

_But the reason I agreed and the reason I'm filming this intro is because I've been in your place. I_ am _in your place, because I am, and will always be, Whitman's biggest fan. I just happen to be lucky enough to be more than that too. All this is to say that I know what it's like to watch Whitman and his videos, not just to get information about the toys, and, you know, let's be real, to get off on seeing him play with them—but to admire him and love him and be captivated by him as well. I also know what it's like to want more._

_So... here's some more. Whitman will insist that his is still not a porn channel—"It's not porn if it's artistic," he said—but I admit I have my doubts. Watch his face. It's_ absolutely _pornographic._

_We hope you enjoy the video—we had a lot of fun making it._


End file.
